just another stupid blog

you want more what?

2010-02-11T20:46:00.000-08:00

yesterday we had enchilada bake for lunch. the children kept asking for more apple and i told them they could have more apple if they had one bite of enchilada bake or peas. when the fifty-millionth child asked for more apple, i told her one of her friends could explain to her. billy chimes in, "leslie said before you have more apple, you need to take a bite of chinchilla or peas first."

yes, eat a bite of the class pet little girl. (we don't really have a chinchilla for a class pet.)

then when he wanted more enchilada bake later he asked, "could i have some more chinchil...chilad...NOODLES?!"

what in the...

2010-01-23T22:01:00.000-08:00

suzy is riding a trike pulling a wagon. she's having trouble pulling both of the girls in the back so she stops and turns around to give them a message:

suzy: "one of you needs to get out"
both girls at once: "not me!"
suzy: "well, i just can't pull both of you. one of you can get out and push."
both girls at once: "not me!"
suzy: starting to get flustered, "well...UGH! HOLY in this world! will someone just get out and push!"

of heaven...and fathers

2010-01-23T21:46:00.000-08:00

two separate yet related conversations in the past few days:

girl 1: "...actually i have two fathers, god and my dad."
girl 2: "and don't forget about jesus. jesus is god."
girl 3: "but who is jesus?"
girl 1: "don't you know jesus? you have to know him and ask him into your heart. don't you have jesus in your heart?"
girl 3: stares wide eyed, blankly

suzy: "god is in control of the rain."
billy: "yeah 'cuz he lives up in heaven!"
me: "where's heaven?"
billy: "up in the sky!"
me: "then why haven't i ever seen heaven, or god?"
zuzy: "you just can't see him."
billy: "yeah, he's indivisible."

red cross

2010-01-18T21:54:00.000-08:00

today the school-age kids where at school because of mlk jr. day. they were in the hall coming up with some ideas about decorating jars to collect money to help people in haiti.

one boy (who used to be in my threes class long ago!) was explaining to me what their ideas were...

"we're going to make jars so people can donate money to redd foxx."

"you mean red cross?" asked his teacher.

"oh yeah, that."

stripedy

2010-01-16T09:11:00.000-08:00

suzy comes in with striped socks.

"i have striped socks too!" i say and lift up my pant leg a bit. "oh, wait. are those socks or tights?" i ask.

she thinks for a moment like she's unsure of how to answer.

"i mean, mine are socks because they stop at my knees." i explain.

a look of understanding comes across her face. "mine are TIGHTS! because they go all the way up to my bottom."

crazy hair

2010-01-16T09:09:00.000-08:00

after rest time one boy pops up from his cot and looks around. suzy looks over and giggles. "billy, it looks like you sleeped good! because of your hair!"

to which he just smiled.

yoga anyone?

2010-01-02T22:41:00.001-08:00

okay, so it's really sad that it's been over a year since i posted any great kid quotes or stories. for the three people that read this (one of those people is myself) here you go!

at morning meeting things start to get a little out of control. the kids are starting to get a little loud. my co-teacher and i decide to sit back and let them all try to work it out on their own.

after a few minutes of the children shushing each other and telling one another what they need to be doing, one girl shouts out, one hand on her hip, one finger pointing all about; "guys, we either need to just do our jobs or we need to do some oms."

click on title for reference.

love and marriage

2008-10-20T10:49:00.000-07:00

billy and suzy are playing with toys at a table when billy stops what he's doing, like a great idea washed over him and they have to do it. right. now.

"suzy, let's go to the home center (that's our house area) and get married! you want to? suzy! come on! i can't get married by MYSELF!" billy says frantically.

teenage preschool politics, it's too confusing...

2008-10-04T15:02:00.000-07:00

me: what's your cousin's name?
child: suzy. is your cousin sarah palin?
me: no.
child: you should vote for sarah palin.
me: everyone can vote for whomever they want.
child: i'm gonna vote for obama.
child 2: me too, i'm want barak obama like daddy!
me: or you could vote for john mccain.
child 3: i hate john mccain. we don't like george bush.
me: and i don't like talking politics with four-year-olds!

dardinelle

2008-08-19T19:58:00.000-07:00

i haven't been posting much this summer because:

a) schoolage kids just don't say the crazy things that preschool kids say. they DO say crazy things, just not that i can post here...this is a family friendly site!

b) i'm nearly eight months pregnant. i'm forgetful. i'm tired. i'm hungry. cut me some slack!

c) i've been trying to launch my website selling baby onesies. that takes up a lot of time!

please come visit my site, or even better you can BUY something for your babies or friends with babies or people you know that are going to have babies. BABIES!!!

http://dardinelle.com

summer schoolage program

2008-07-03T12:33:00.000-07:00

while preschool is out for the summer, i'm working the "olders" at a summer schoolge program (which is more like day camp than anything else). It's 7-10 year-olds and it's just as crazy as it sounds.

the girls always want to make crafts and the boys always want to play trading cards (like pokemon and yugio)

somehow the subject of heaven came up the other day. billy expressed his excitement about going...

"i can't wait until i get to heaven because then i won't have to listen to my mom tell me what to do and i can play my (nintendo) DS all day long!"

you can pick your friends...

2008-05-24T21:54:00.000-07:00

during circle time i ask suzy to get a tissue (instead of spelunking for a chunk of gold with her pinky finger.)

someone chimes in with "she was picking her nose! eeeewww!!!"

so i had to diffuse the situation before it got out of control. i started saying something about how it was okay and everyone does it but it's really best to use a tissue for that job to which billy shouts out,

"there's lots of different ways to pick your nose!"

i still prefer the tissue.

breathmint anyone?

2008-05-24T21:51:00.000-07:00

boy 1: "hey, come 'on!"

boy 2: "your breath smells like transformers."

boy 1: (strange out of the corner of his eye look at boy 2)

names

2008-05-06T08:16:00.001-07:00

we were talking about the origin of names the other day and one of the teachers said, "names come from all different places..." to which the kids interrupted with "like the zoo?" "and north carolina?" "and new york?" "and outer space!!!"

sure.

i asked some of the children what i should name my baby. some of my favorites are:

pocahontas, angel, star, tomato, space girl, snowman, snowflake, apple, pingo, cook, macaroni and cheese and jesus.

i like space girl the best so far. what do you think?

baby boom

2008-05-06T08:08:00.000-07:00

so i told the families i'm pregnant a couple of weeks ago and it's pretty much been a buzz among the children ever since. lots of thoughts about this little baby of mine. i brought an ultrasound to show the kiddos and a couple kids had some interesting ideas about what it looked like.

suzy: "your baby looks like a fuzzball!"
billy: "it looks like a coffee maker!"

one day out of the blue billy came up to me and said, "you need a baby bath!" "a what?" i wondered. "a baby bath. it's where people come and give you things for your baby!" i thought he might be confused. "do you mean a baby SHOWER?" he looked at me puzzled. "no! i mean a baby BATH!"

i guess i'm the confused one.

did rapunzel have this problem?

2008-04-04T07:13:00.000-07:00

i asked suzy if she liked short hair or long hair. she replied with,

"i like short hair. my aunt has long hair and one time she peed on it. it went all the way down to her labia."

isn't that a jewel song?

2008-03-23T15:34:00.000-07:00

we were all out on the playground and my fours classes all like to play chase. all of them will chase each other around the whole half-hour we're outside and never get tired of it...well almost all of them.

"wait a minute, guys. stop! i've had about enough of these FOOLISH games!" billy says while doing that motion with both hands towards the ground like, "calm down."

happy easter! but...

2008-03-23T15:31:00.000-07:00

as i finished telling the story of easter to my threes class, one boy raises his hand and says,

"but where's the eggs?!"

i guess those bible writers forgot that part.

thankful

2008-02-27T06:56:00.000-08:00

i realized yesterday as i was telling one of my favorite quotes to some friends that i never posted it here. it was during november and we were talking all about what we're thankful for.

i asked suzy what she was thankful for and she said, "my mom and my dad and god...he's my husband-i mean, GIRLFRIEND!"

and you've got to imagine that she's being DEAD SERIOUS.

terminology

2008-02-27T06:51:00.000-08:00

remember the girl who was wearing a body part apron and pointed to her intestines and said, "this is where i poops"?

well, yesterday she decided to be a little more specific by pointing to the intestines on our mannequin and letting us know that is was called a "pee-gyna."

good to know.

anatomically correct

2008-02-08T07:28:00.001-08:00

we have an apron of sorts that has stuffed body parts with velcro keeping them in place (so you can put it on and see where all your parts are.)

a little girl puts it on and i point to the stomach and ask her what it is.

"my tummy!"

then i ask her about her lungs.

"my lungs!"

after we're done with the conversation, she starts telling one of her friends all her parts while pointing to them. "...and this is where i poops!" she says pointing to the intestines.

grey-ish anatomy

2008-02-08T07:25:00.000-08:00

pointing to the part of a mannequin with body parts you can take out and put back in (you know, like the ones you see in science class in high school) i ask the children what i'm pointing to.

no response.

"they help you breathe" i say as i point to both lungs.

"BOOBS!" one boy shouts.

so trashy

2008-02-08T07:23:00.000-08:00

two boys playing in the home center start a conversation after one puts on the construction outfit.

"i'm a garbage man!" says the first boy decked out in all his gear and then some.

to which the other boy exclaims, "then why do you have a camera around your neck? i don't think people want pictures of their trash!"

what would you bring baby jesus?

2007-12-22T10:07:00.000-08:00

we were talking to the children about what the three wise men brought to baby jesus when he was born and then we asked the children what they might bring if they were going to give a gift to jesus. here are an assortment of answers from my four and five-year-olds.

"a big hug."

"i'm gonna bring lucy, my puppy. she will slobber."

"hola kitty boots."

"gold racecars and stuff. and playdoh." to which another child responds, "jesus might eat playdoh."

"i'm gonna bring gold and frankinsence. if i can find a real 'x' and a stick i could give it to baby jesus but he might eat that stick."

"i would give him a light-saver, it's a sword. do you think he would want that billy?" to which billy responds, "it might be too big for him."

"a bag of stickers. how 'bout that?"

"a fish. one that looks like nemo."

"i don't know...i JUST. DON'T. KNOW!"

billy, mary, whatever

2007-12-08T09:29:00.000-08:00

one little boy really likes to wear the new dresses we have in the home center and he really likes to be mary and hold the baby jesus.

i ask who he is (because i just can't resist his scratchy little three-year-old voice)

"i'm mary. i'm gonna have a baby today." he says in a sparkly dress and angel wings.

jesus was born where?

2007-12-08T09:18:00.000-08:00

we've been talking a lot about christmas in our class (since we are a christian preschool) and i've gotten some pretty interesting reponses to my questions.

me: "who was jesus' dad?"
child: "joe-fish!"

me: "where was jesus born?"
child: "in a sta...stadium!"

me: "what was the angel's name who told mary she was going to have a baby?"
child: "gab-ah-reel!"

and we also have changed our home center from a kitchen to a stable with a manger and hay and a baby jesus. there's lots of clothes for the kids to dress like mary and joseph and angels. one little girl puts on an angel outfit every day and i ask, "who are you?"

"i'm the angel gabriel!" she replies.

"do you have a message for mary?" i ask. then she runs over to whomever is dressed as mary and shouts,

"mary, mary, you're gonna have a baby and his name's gonna be JESUS!" and she giggles and smiles the biggest smile.

tell and show

2007-11-19T19:55:00.000-08:00

during show and tell today, someone was telling about their ariel doll (you know ariel from the little mermaid?) little suzy raises her hand and "asks" a question:

"i really like your ariel doll. i like her hair. and i like her ::boobies::" she whispers toward the end.

i tried not to laugh because i sensed she was trying to evoke that response.

::boobies::

pumpkin head

2007-09-26T19:58:00.000-07:00

we were talking with the kids today about our trip to the pumpkin patch coming up next friday. while we were sitting at "circle time" they were all abuzz with comments and questions. as we moved on to snack and were sitting at the table, i asked my friends sitting with me what kind of pumpkin they thought they would choose.

one said he wanted a little tiny one, another said she wanted one as big as her dad and billy said,

"i want one the exact shape of my head!" he said as he motioned his hands around his head like measurements.

o-kay!

everyone has a different version of beautiful...

2007-09-25T22:44:00.000-07:00

billy was gathering his things to leave class today and his dad told him they needed to go pick someone up at the airport. billy looks up at me and says,

"it's beautiful. the airport is."

and as i'm asking to make sure he said the airport was beautiful he looks at the clock behind me and says,

"oh no! we gotta go, we're gonna be late!"

(i assure you he cannot tell time yet. he is a VERY young three.)

"okay," i say as he rushes away. "bye!"

"see you in a couple days!" he says over his shoulder. "alright?"

yeah, it's alright with me.

i'm goin' to disneyland!

2007-09-21T07:18:00.000-07:00

i walked two three year old boys to the bathroom the other day and one chose the toilet, the other chose the urinal. i walked back to the classroom, then came back a minute later to check on them. i hear the flush of the urinal and then,

"oh, cooool! it's like splash mountain!"

i thought i heard him wrong. i peeked in and he looked at me and said,

"it's like splash mountain at disneyland!"

funny, i remember it a little diferently.

Who's the boss?

2007-09-15T11:43:00.000-07:00

Since the start of school this week I've been called Many different names. "Mr. Bachman" "Mrs. Bock-a -Min" "Ms. BlockMin" and My personal favorite, "Mrs. bossman" oh yes, he who is young is wise.

tea time

2007-08-30T14:59:00.000-07:00

while visiting with a young student-to-be, we sat down for a lovely tea party. I asked her,

"what kind of tea is this?" to which she replied,

"beer." to which her mother replied,

"did she just say BEER?!" and turned all shades of red. i assured her she needn't worry, as the "beer tea" in question was very good.

mr. bachman

2007-08-16T12:59:00.000-07:00

so i have a new job now...i don't work with 2 and 3 year olds anymore. now i work with 3 and 4 year olds at a different school. long story. i'll tell you about it sometime. point is, i'm doing what we call "home visits" for all the children coming into my class in september.

i go to the child's home and we play or have snack, whatever for about an hour. so far it's been fun and pretty mellow. the other day, i met a very vibrant young lady who liked to say my name over and over...sort of.

"mister bachman, mister bachman, missus bachman...come here mister bachman." she kept saying as she ran from one room to the other.

"here i am! i'm mrs. bachman!" i would try to correct subtly.

"oh, hi mister bachman!" she said with her big blue eyes staring up at me.

just like the skunk from bambi would say, "she can call me mister bachman if she wants to."

she works hard for the money...

2007-07-27T14:53:00.000-07:00

this is actually from a couple of weeks ago...all the waterpark pictures i took today have the kid's faces in them...and they're all in their bathing suits but i so badly wanted to post the one of them i took when they all hid behind this wall and 'boo'ed me. they were SO stinkin' cute.

yes, this is my job.

love the lyrics

2007-07-23T14:16:00.000-07:00

billy's in the bathroom getting dressed...

"les-ee bachmaaaan, leeeeh-seee baaaach-a-maaan! leeeeeh-seeeeee baaaach-aaaaah-maaaaan!"

except about twenty more times and louder than you might be thinking.

"look i made a footprint"

2007-07-02T14:14:00.000-07:00

hello, i'm leslie bachman

2007-06-20T13:37:00.000-07:00

i walked in to class today to find out that i had already arrived. my co-teacher said, "leslie bachman's already here." one girl really likes to pretend my name is hers and i knew just where to find her.

i met up with suzy in the bathroom as she was getting her sunscreen on.

"hello, i'm suzy suzington!" i said (except that i used her actual name).

"oh, hi. i'm leslie bachman." she said with a giggle.

"well, i guess i can go home now. see you later!" to which she got a horrified look on her face and begged me not to go home.

yeah, they are pretty big flip-flops to fill.

girls have a 'gyna

2007-06-20T13:32:00.000-07:00

in the middle of eating lunch suzy exclaims to me, "i don't have a pee-pee. i'm a girl, i have a 'gyna...wanna see? girls have a 'gyna. i have a 'gyna today."

the lord's prayer

2007-06-13T14:19:00.001-07:00

"i have a book called, 'the lord of the prayer.'" suzy tells me.

"oh, can i see it?" she shows me and i read the title, "the story of the lord's prayer. hmm...who is 'the lord'?" i ask.

"he's god." she answers.

"who's god?" i push, wondering what the next answer will be.

"oh, he's my mom's brother."

hot pants

2007-06-06T15:55:00.000-07:00

i was helping suzy button her pants when she said,

"sometimes you have to stick your tummy in. these pants might be gettin' too small. i might need to get some new styles!"

lunch

2007-06-06T15:53:00.000-07:00

"what did you have for lunch today?" a teacher asks suzy who arrived late to school.

"hot chicken...and juice."

then she comes to me and i ask what kind of hot chicken she had. she said, "actually i had fish heads and elephant toenails...and worms."

i don't know WHERE she gets that from...probably one of her crazy teachers.

a new last name...again?

2007-06-02T21:23:00.000-07:00

suzy and i are playing when she says "i'm leslie blockman!"

"it's leslie BACHMAN!" i tell her, "like a chicken says, 'bock-bock'"

"leslie bock-bock. i'm leslie block-in-min!" after i stop giggling and nodding my head in disaproval she says, "knock-knock."

"who's there?" i ask tentitively.

"leslie bachman!" she says.

"leslie bachman who?" I ask, wondering what the punchline could possibly be.

she hesitates for a moment with a concerned look on her face. "actually," she says, "i'm leslie tree!"

hmm...maybe that could be my stage name.

actual quote, just taken out of context

2007-05-25T13:14:00.000-07:00

"when i was two i was sleepin' around a lot and i needed help."

strike to the ego

2007-05-25T13:12:00.000-07:00

"you have a penis!" suzy exclaims to one of the boys as he goes potty.

"i have one too!" another boy shouts as he leans his pelvis closer so she can get a good look.

"yeah, but his is smaller." she states about the first boy.

talk about making a guy feel inferior.

talk about it

2007-05-25T13:07:00.000-07:00

suzy sings, "talk about it, talk about it, talk about it, talk about it, do-do-do-do, talk about it...won't you take me to funkytown!"

i ask her where funkytown is.

"i don't know. it's just what my dad sings!"

and i'll never forget the first week of school when she was sitting at the table drawing when she burst out with, "hello, my name is johnny cash."

i like it, i love it

2007-05-18T17:47:00.000-07:00

"i'm gonna miss you so much on my stay home days. are you gonna miss me?" suzy asks.

"of course!" i say.

"i like you so much and i'm gonna miss you so much!" she says as she does that thing where you tilt your head, lift your shoulder a bit and give a grin with raised eyebrows.

get. in. my. pocket. now. i'm taking you home.

meat is murder

2007-05-18T17:44:00.000-07:00

"does that have meat in it?" suzy asks of my bowl of soup.

i check the ingredients and let her know it contains seafood.

"oh. i decided not to eat animals." she replies.

wow, that feels good.

hey!

2007-05-15T08:53:00.000-07:00

"weh-see, i got hey-cut!" billy says as soon as i walk in the door. "i got hey-cut, i got hey-cut!"

it's nearly buzzed off in that just-right-to-the-touch length and another teacher asks, "can i touch your haircut?"

"NOOOOHHHH!" he replies. "weh-see i got hey-cut, i got hey-cut."

guess he just wanted to make sure i knew.

maybe you're cra-zaay

2007-05-11T12:11:00.000-07:00

while in the midst of dancing during our group time this morning, suzy spots a teacher outside our front door dancing along to our music through the window.

"she's crazy, isn't she?" suzy asks me.

"yep," i say "i love it!"

"yeah, she's crazy. she's very very very rockstar!"

very.

you b**ch!

2007-05-07T14:00:00.000-07:00

"more pizza," billy exclaims.

"you betcha!" says the substitute teacher.

[GASP] "that's not appropriate!" yells suzy.

"you betcha?" asks the dumbfounded sub.

"that's not a good word." she repremands.

"oh, sorry." the teacher says shrinking back in her already tiny children's chair.

da chain?

2007-05-02T21:53:00.000-07:00

"dat's cool." billy says

"it's off the chain." i add.

"dat's cooool!" billy repeats.

"that's cool, that's off the chain." i say.

"chain?"

"yeah! off the chain!"

"WHAAA? da chain? wha chain?" he says as he looks at me quite puzzled.

"off. the. chain. it means it's cool. it's off the chain."

"oh, off da chain!?"

"yeah! off the chain!!!"

"noooo. no off a chain!" he shouts angrily.

i'd be angry too if someone kept pestering me about street lingo.

mmm...barbeque

2007-04-27T08:02:00.000-07:00

suzy came over and asked me if i could fix her barbeque pins.

"your what?" i asked.

"my barbeque pins, here in my hair." she points to the bobby pin clutching three hairs for dear life, about to fall out.

"oh sure, i'll fix your barbeque pins for you."

brain gobblers

2007-04-17T12:46:00.000-07:00

"STOP IT! STOP IT!" suzy screams between sobs.

"who are you talking to? what do you want them to stop doing?" i ask, concerned because she seems so upset, maybe even hurt.

"suzette." she says as she tries to catch her breath. "she gobbled up my brain!"

now here's where me typing this story doesn't do it justice, because she said it with such conviction, and with so many tears in her eyes, gasping for breath that i just couldn't. not. laugh.

i tried to keep it in. i didn't want suzy to think i didn't care, but it was just such a funny thing to say when i was expecting something so much worse. after i let my laughter slip, i immediately became aware of the fact that i might hurt suzy's feelings until i heard her start to giggle too. that was close. she could've been discussing that with her therapist years from now:

"...and then i remember when my preschool teacher laughed at me when i was really upset about something. i've never been the same..."

shrek vs. sir mix-a-lot

2007-04-17T12:39:00.000-07:00

suzy walks past me and very plainly states, "i like big butts an-a-can-a-lie. [pause] i have that song at my house. it's the big butts an-a-can-a-lie song."

"what? what did you say?" suzette asks.

"big butts AN-A-CAN-A-LIE song." suzy says.

"what? say it louder!" suzette says with urgency as if she really doesn't understand what suzy's saying.

"IT'S-A-BIG-BUTTS-AN-A-CAN-LIE SONG AT MY HOUSE AND I DANCE TO IT!"

"oh." suzette responds.

now i can only assume she heard that song on the movie shrek, but you just never know if her parents have the sir mix-a-lot album. i don't know which is worse.

reduce, reuse...

2007-04-14T10:10:00.000-07:00

suzy and i were playing legos together. one lego had an eyeball on either side, and another one had a smile on one side and a frown on the other. when i stuck them together i proudly exclaimed, "look, it's a cyclops! happy cyclops, sad cyclops," i said as i flipped it back and forth.

"do you know what a cyclops is?" i asked. when suzy said no, i explained to her. then i showed her the cyclops face again.

"happy..." she pauses as she tries to figure out what it's called. "happy RECYCLING!"

close enough.

ambiguous alosaurus

2007-04-11T07:26:00.000-07:00

billy explains to me what he looks like. "i'm a dinosaur and i'm big. i have big legs and my chest and little arms and no penis."

"oh. are you a girl dinosaur?" i ask.

"...[strange look]...NO!"

kitchen remodel

2007-04-08T21:24:00.001-07:00

you missed a spot in the middle honey, originally uploaded by lesismore.

day one. march 30th.

your mom is crazy

2007-04-08T20:39:00.000-07:00

"my mom was saying, 'suzy, where are you?' and she was trickin' me! Isn't that funny?" suzy exclaims to suzette.

"your mom is crazy." suzette says.

"yeah, her name is sue."

really?

2007-01-27T11:45:00.000-08:00

four boys from the fours and fives class were playing some sort of pushing game on the yard. i walked over to them and spoke to them briefly about stopping that game, letting the boy who was being pushed that if he needs help, he can come and talk to me and i would help him.

five minutes later i felt a little hand enter mine and start pulling. he started talking with such desperation i could hardly understand him. it was the little boy that was being pushed, and he was still being bothered by the other boys, so I called them over.

as i tried to understand what the little boy was saying, the "pusher" in question looks at me with the straightest face and says,

"are we still talking about that pushing?"

it was everything i could do not to laugh. it was like he was sincerely annoyed that we were talking about a subject he felt we already resolved. Like, didn't we already discuss this already?!

after we resolved that the little boy didn't want to be destroyed by the "robots" he walked away leaving the annoyed boy still standing in front of me.

He looked at me, shrugged and gave me a wink, as if to say, "it's cool, toots, you're just doing your job."

crap!

2007-01-26T13:24:00.000-08:00

while working with the clay, billy holds up a small crumbled ball of clay. In a small voice he says,

"it's little tiny crap!"

as i pushed my bulged eyes back in my head, i thought for a moment then asked,

"a tiny CRAB?"

"Yeps." he replied as i let out a sigh of relief.

sidenote: we do have a family who interacts with each other by calling one another "ass face" so you just never know.

oh, thanks!

2007-01-23T08:05:00.000-08:00

i was helping billy with his shoes.

"open the velcro and pull out the tongue." I directed.

"this shoe has tongue? that's silly." billy replied as he giggled.

after a few minitues of distraction, he came back to his challenge.

"this have tongue and i have tounge," he shows me his tongue.

"i do too!" i state enthusiastically and stick my tounge out.

"yer have BIG one!" he exclaims with wide eyes.

"oh, thanks." I reply.

who do you love?

2007-01-16T12:01:00.000-08:00

as we were all gathering by the door to go outside, out of nowhere suzy said to suzzette, "i love you!" to which suzzette promptly replied, "i love you, and i love you billy" from there it was a domino effect. even the little boy who barely speaks english said "love you!" one of those moments that you're like, "ohmygoshmykidsaresocute!"

then when we got outside a boy from my class last year came up to me. "hi." he said with a smile. i said, "billy, guess what? i love you very much!" he paused and whispered something. i leaned down and asked him to repeat himself. he said, "i love you and i like you."

i'm just going to put them in my pocket and take them home. yep, that's what i'll do.

p.s. speaking of love, i posted new pictures from our honeymoon on my flickr account. go see them!

i'm a wifey now

2006-12-11T13:57:00.000-08:00

i'm married now and busy and i haven't written in a bit.

if you want to see fun things go to

http://www.johnandlesliebachman.com

mahwage is what bwrings us, togebher today...

2006-11-10T13:26:00.000-08:00

please forgive my lack of posting, as i am getting married in one week.

all should return to normal in december.

if normal means totally and utterly different.

brush your hair

2006-10-12T20:41:00.000-07:00

This has nothing to do with children. This is just a very important question.

How many strokes does it take to successfully brush your hair? That sounds something like, "how many licks does it take to get to the center of a toostie roll tootsie pop", but this is a much more important question. One that some lame owl doesn't cheat to find the answer to.

Marsha Brady thought you had to brush your hair 100 times-on each side. Apparently, so did the woman in front of me on I-5 while we were in stop and go traffic. That's fine, I don't have a problem with that, but as the traffic speeds up to upwards of 45mph, she is still brushing her hair.

Brushing and brushing and brushing. For TEN MINUTES! I'm not exaggerating, I promise. Okay, I know what you're thinking. "Ten minutes doesn't seem like a long time." But I just dare you to brush your hair for ten minutes. One or more of the following may happen:

-You will get REALLY tired
-Large clumps of your hair will fall out
-You'll have so much static cling going on, that you could supply power to a small village
-You'll get into an accident (that is, if you are attempting to do this while operating a large vehicle, such as a CAR!!!)

Well, the lady did not get into an accident, but if you see a yellow Ford Focus with California license plates and support our troops "ribbons" driving around, beware. She was the worst driver EVER! Be aware.

BE. AWARE!

suzy-boo

2006-10-10T12:24:00.000-07:00

Remember "lie-dee-die-dee" boy?

He needed help with his coat today. He kept flipping it-you know the flip, right? When you put your coat on the floor, put your arms in the holes and flip it over your head. You know you want to do it, since you haven't in years I'm sure!

But he couldn't flip it right. He cried out to me,

"Wah-seee! Hehp!"

I was washing the tables, so I told him to ask Suzy.

He then started running around the room, with his coat half on, upside down shouting in his little asian accent,

"Suzy-boo, haaaeeehp! Suuuuzy-booooo!"

Maybe you had to be there...or actually hear how funny it is. Say it to yourself if you need to. Go ahead, no one's listening. SEE?! It's so cute!!!

lie-dee-die-dees

2006-10-04T07:00:00.000-07:00

I call tickles that you get on your back "liedeediedees". You probably call it "tickles" or "scratchies," that works too.

I love getting liedeediedee on my back...someone could do that for hours (if they know the proper technique.) During rest time, I did some liedeediedees for billy. He fell asleep almost instantly.

A few days later when I was leaving for my lunch, I walked by his cot and grabbed his blanket to cover him up. He stops my hand, pushes the blanket away and looks up at me,

"Lie-die-dee?"

Like I'm going to say no to that!

manicure

2006-10-02T20:04:00.000-07:00

manicure
Originally uploaded by lesismore.

mmmm...painty

2006-10-02T20:03:00.000-07:00

brown noser
Originally uploaded by lesismore.

here's the pictures.

brown noser

2006-10-02T13:34:00.000-07:00

Today as we were painting our faces...hmm, maybe I should start from the beginning. Nah, this way is more fun.

So as four kids were going to town painting all over their faces, necks and hands I was snapping pictures. One boy wasn't painting his face at all. I think he didn't quite understand what was going on so I gave him a little dollop on his nose. He thought this was hillarious!

Another boy took his painty Q-tip and put some brown paint on his nose. I told him to give me an eskimo kiss with his nose. Then he decided I still needed more paint on my nose and used his finger to put more on.

I only realized about a half an hour later when I was getting lunch ready, that there was a perfect little brown handprint on my right breast.

Lesson: watch those little hands getting fresh when you're sneaking an eskimo kiss!

p.s. I did manage to get a nice manicure, though. I had to post the pictures seperately...my computer skills are lacking since I don't spend all day at the computer anymore.

cottage pee pee!

2006-09-29T12:50:00.000-07:00

This on is in honor of Jonathan Courter.

At snack:

"More!" Billy shouts.
"More what?" I ask.
"That!" He points at the bowl of food.
"More cottage cheese?" I suggest.
"Cottage pee!" He shouts.
"More cottage cheese, please." I prompt.
"MORE COTTAGE PEE PEE!"

I should've seen that coming.

i have a baby in my tummy

2006-09-27T12:41:00.001-07:00

(this actually happened last week)

"I have a baby in my tummy!" Suzy says.
"Me too!" Says Sue.

Suzy then walks over to one of the other teachers, lifts her shirt, "grabs" at her stomach and hands an invisible something to her.

"Here you go. You can you hold my baby, Billy, okay?"

Then Sue proceeds to go to the window sill and lay in it, putting her knees up.

"Are you feeling sleepy, Sue?" I ask.
"Nope. I'm just laying down to get the baby out." She says plainly.

Well, of course!

that's not poop!

2006-09-26T08:22:00.000-07:00

Because this story involves two "Suzies," I will call one Suzy, and one Sue.

Suzy was busy putting her baby's diaper on it's naked little body when Sue walked up to her and pointed at the doll, "Your baby has poop!" she exclaimed.

"No she doesn't," Suzy said. "Where?"
"Right there!" Sue points directly at the doll.

Suzy then understands that her friend is very confused and straightens the matter up quickly,
"That's not her poop, that's her PEE-NUSS!"

"Oh." Sue says, as if it's the most logical explanation she's ever heard.

I have the answer to the question you're thinking in your head. The answer is YES. Yes, we do have politically AND anotomically correct baby dolls in our classroom. This doll happened to be an african-american boy baby. Make sense now?

leslie come back?

2006-09-02T15:08:00.000-07:00

We're starting a new school year on Tuesday with all new kids-all new "Billy" and "Suzys". But on the last day of school, little Billy looked up at me and said, "Leslie come back?" Which was something he said often to all the teachers; when you were leaving for the day, when you left for lunch, even when you needed a potty break...

But this time, it totally made me tear up, because I knew I would be back, but it would be so different.

do i post anything that doesn't involve the word "poop?"

2006-08-03T14:31:00.000-07:00

Billy sat on the toilet staring up at me with his big blue eyes.

"Do you feel the pee coming?" I ask.
"Not yet." He says in a half-grunt.

A minute passes.

"Any pee yet?"
"Nope."

I'm starting to think he's stalling. Stalling to get out of what? Playing with leggos, reading books...what could be better than that? Apparently getting one on one time with me while sitting on the toilet.

"How do you know when the pee is coming?" I ask, half thinking he'll say 'I just know!'

He takes a deep breath, and starts his explanation. "Well, you see, the pee travels down and down (as he makes a back and forth motion as you would if you were tracing your intestines) and comes down to my penis, then out of my pee-pee. Then it goes into the toilet and down to the pipes where it goes into a special box where the poop and pee go. There, it's all mixed together and changed back into water and comes back up again," he says as he makes a swirling motion in the toilet bowl, much like the water does when you flush and it fills back up again.

Makes sence to me.

all da way nay-ted babies

2006-07-18T08:04:00.000-07:00

Remember "all da way nay-ted" boy? Well, he strikes again!

One of the teachers in class just had her baby. A few weeks back I brought a bunch of books from the library to read and discuss with the children to prepare them for her departure and for the arrival of her first baby. They've all been buzzing with thoughts and ideas.

One book shows babies at different stages-real photographs-where all they have on are colorful cloth diaper covers, EXCEPT for the newborn, which is naked. Billy thought this was SO hillarious and makes sure to point it out to me every time we read it.

We were all playing outside when we got the news that the teacher had her baby.

"Billy, teacher Suzy had her baby!" I say with delight, thinking he'll be so excited he won't be able to contain himself...Nothing. A short glance up at me, a look of disinterest, and back to the shovel and pail full of sand which seem much more exciting.

"And it was NAKED!" I say with certainty that this will surely get his attention. He looks up from what he's doing, gets a grin on his face and asks,

"All da way nay-ted?!"

"YES!" I shout with glee as he gets the biggest smile on his face I've seen all day.

"A-HEE!" He giggles, then proceeds to tell anyone who asks about Suzy's baby that it was, in fact, 'all da way nay-ted.'

bye-bye poop and pee!

2006-07-07T13:52:00.000-07:00

Standing in front of the mini-toilet, completly naked, Billy shouts into the bowl,

"Bye-bye poop and pee!"

Then dances a little jig singing, "I'm all da way nay-ted!" To which I point out his clothes resting in a pile on the floor.

About three minutes later when I came back into the bathroom, I realized he had spent the entire time manuvering both of his legs into one of the legs of his sweatpants, rendering him a very cute-but totally imoblie- mermaid.

"Ahh-heeh-heeh!" Was all he had to say to me.

oh...

2006-06-20T08:04:00.000-07:00

"What are you painting a picture of?" I ask little Suzy.

"You'll need to look at it and see what you get." She replies.

Usually it takes about two years of art school before you're telling others that your art is up to the viewer's interpretation.

"you're not silly, you're smart!"

2006-06-06T13:03:00.000-07:00

i asked someone in my class if i was silly. he quickly replied, "Yes!" (i don't know why)

another child from another class said, "You're not silly, you're smart."

he obviously doesn't know me very well.

a one-a two-a one two-three-four-five-six-seven...

2006-05-25T13:07:00.000-07:00

When you're counting down a song, why stop at four?

I mean, you usually count to three or four, depending on the count of the song. (e.g. A one, a two, a one-two-three-four [music starts] )

Well, when your three, the logic in that doesn't really apply. Why not just count as high as you possibly can?

Okay.

leslie is my friend

2006-05-24T12:19:00.000-07:00

*Billy's dad came straight over to me when they walked in the room.

"I must tell you something." He said in a very concerned voice. "Last night Billy spent a good 40 minutes talking about you, including phrases such as, 'Leslie is a good friend,' 'I would like to give Leslie some tortalini' and 'I really love Leslie.' I just thought I would let you know."

This makes me feel good on so many levels; one being that I sometimes wonder if his parents think I'm a good teacher. This doesn't really confirm that, but I venture to guess that it just might! The other is that Billy really likes me. If that doesn't mean much to you, you probably haven't been offered bark chip tortalini by a two year old.

Oh My Doodness!

2006-05-23T13:16:00.000-07:00

The following is a true story. The names have been changed, but the story is real.

"Somebody in my poctet!" Says *Billy.
"Who?" I ask.
"Bear in dare." He states plainly as he reaches into his pants pocket to search for the small wooden figurine he placed there earlier. He realizes there's nothing in that pocket and proceeds to search the other.
"Nobody in dare. I thought bear in dare!" He exclaims. "Oh my doodness!" He giggles and searches for the missing figure on the floor around him.

I want to be two again.

when a three year old teaches me

2006-04-26T12:22:00.000-07:00

"ouch!" i say as someone steps on my toe.

"it's okay," says *suzy with her asian accent. "you can say, 'i don't like that' okay? you okay? okay."

now i'm prepared for next time. ;P

*name has been changed to protect the cute and innocent.

today, i'm an illustrator again

2006-03-10T13:39:00.000-08:00

i sat with my class and we drew a plant in a vase. it was really interesting to see them really grasp shape and lines.

just in case you don't know this already, three year olds are awesome! in case you don't agree, let me just tell you that one boy in my class keeps stopping what he's doing to tell me he loves me.

that's all. i wish i could keep this updated more...then again, i'm glad i'm busy with other things.

for colby

2006-02-27T13:13:00.000-08:00

colby, this is for you...

^ ^
< . . >
=.=
_

it's an illustration of a cat.

four things

2006-01-31T16:42:00.000-08:00

I've been tagged by mpatrizio.

Four jobs I've had:
Tele-marketer
Librarian
Preschool Teacher
Graphics Aide (at a newspaper)

Four movies I can watch over and over:
The Princess Bride
Ever After
Braveheart
Happy Gilmore (but don't tell anyone)

Four places I've liked:
Prague, Czech Republic
Wengen, Switzerland
Dalmatian Coast, Croatia
Manhattan, New York

Four TV shows I love :
Note: I don't watch T.V. much, and there's nothing I rush home to watch but every once and again I like:
Lost
Gilmore Girls
Cold Case
CSI (the original, the only, Las Vegas)

Four places I've vacationed:
Italy
Croatia
Switzerland
Germany

Four of my favorite dishes:
Pepperoni Pizza-I know I'm not seven anymore, but I love it!
Stir fry made with Yakisoba noodles
Beef Stroganoff (but only my step dad's 'cuz his is the best!)
Chicken Pad Thai

Four sites I visit daily:
Dooce who makes me squirt chocolate milk out of my nose daily.
My friend Aaron's site.
Marilyn's super cute site.
and of course, my flickr page.

Four places I would rather be right now:
On a warm beach somewhere
With my super-hot boyfriend having a nice dinner
Snuggled up watching a movie, drinking hot cocoa
Or all of the above wrapped into one! :D

I would put down four people I'm tagging, but I doubt very highly that anyone really reads this blog. But if you do, consider yourself tagged.

j.b. arrives!

2006-01-26T12:11:00.000-08:00

what could it be?

who is it?

an animal delivery...

it's jimmy!

and his sketch book of stuff...

kissy-kissy!

ready for portland...

got my own umbrella and i'm ready to explore...bye!

Thanks Marilyn!

jimmy backpack

2006-01-24T12:17:00.000-08:00

jimmy backpack
Originally uploaded by m patrizio.

jimmy is on his way to me and I can't wait!!!

mpatrizio makes the cutest little softies, and I'm not usually one for stuffed animals, but this guy is SO adorable!

She's also really cool (not that I actually know her, but...) and always has fun things to see on her site.

She also has an etsy shop, so go check her out already!

e is for...

2006-01-18T12:32:00.000-08:00

eisfor...
Originally uploaded by lesismore.

illustration friday

e is for...

endoplasmic reticulum

the smooth kind, obviously!

sea

2006-01-06T14:14:00.000-08:00

sea
Originally uploaded by lesismore.

illustration friday.

i wish i were on holiday at the sea instead of in the soggy city.

flavor

2005-12-30T10:12:00.000-08:00

flavor
Originally uploaded by lesismore.

illustration friday

one for you and one for me!

holiday

2005-12-23T09:49:00.000-08:00

silentnight
Originally uploaded by lesismore.

illustration friday

'silent night'

one of my favorite pieces i've done.

imagine

2005-12-20T15:45:00.000-08:00

imagine
Originally uploaded by lesismore.

illustration friday

i was an only child for 13 years.

when i was little, i would entertain myself in the "castles" i made out of kitchen chairs and ratty old blankets with the silken edges wearing off.

i would often fall asleep in my warm pillow-floored fort after playing for hours on end.

i miss being small.

illustration friday...or lack thereof

2005-12-09T11:34:00.000-08:00

Surprise Attempt #1 – A positive pregnancy test. Result: Too sketchy looking. Hand looked funny. Crumpled up and thrown in trash.

Surprise Attempt #2 – Mary when the Angel tells her she’s gonna pop out a kid, even though she’s a virgin, oh and by the way, he’ll be GOD! Result: Too cartoony. Crumpled up and thrown in the trash.

Surprise Attempt #3 – A dollar bill on the ground waiting to be picked up. Result: still on post-it pad. May soon be crumpled up and thrown in trash.

::drums fingers on pad of paper::

I’ve got a horrible case of "illustrators-block", if that even exists.

sad boy

2005-12-07T14:17:00.000-08:00

sadboy
Originally uploaded by lesismore.

the outside label of the cereal box said there was a prize inside, but when i opened it with excitement, all that it held were corn flakes.

stupid corn flakes.

blue

2005-12-02T11:15:00.000-08:00

blue
Originally uploaded by lesismore.

illustration friday

i did this a while back for a bazaar. it's still for sale, if anyone's interested.

small

2005-11-25T16:35:00.000-08:00

small
Originally uploaded by lesismore.

illustration friday

it's amazing how one word can make you feel so small.

free

2005-11-18T16:59:00.000-08:00

free
Originally uploaded by lesismore.

illustration friday

watercolor

2005-11-18T12:35:00.000-08:00

moon
Originally uploaded by lesismore.

i posted some more work on my "art site" if you want to check it out.

clicky!

bazaar

2005-11-11T15:18:00.000-08:00

bazaar flier
Originally uploaded by lesismore.

Come one and all THIS SUNDAY to the Modern Craft Bazaar!

20 different artist’s work will be featured, including yours truly. (I will have a few different pieces of watercolor art for sale)

Bring small bills in cash, as I’m pretty sure none of us struggling artists will have a credit card machine on our belt.

Apotheke (Aah-poe-tech-ah) is in the Pearl District.

It starts at six and goes until 10, so I’m sure you’ll have time to stop by for a bit.